As I lingered in the patient room at CareNow in Fort Worth, I had to tell a nurse, whom I have met for the first time, about the act of indiscretion that landed me in her place of employment. And I tell the story about how my ex, who shall be referred to as Becky, dropped a bombshell on me last week about how she had been tested positive for genital herpes and that I should be checked out, too. As I am telling this to the nurse while trying to maintain a sense of humor about it all and not trying to call Becky a whore at the same time.
Did I mention I had a lingering sore throat, too? (Let's hope the two are not related. At least I don't have strep.)
My mind started to wander, as it always does in these situations, right into "where did I go wrong" or "why is it I always have this kind of bad luck." Can I not be with a woman and not have to deal with these types of issues? I have had a couple of scares in the past but not with something penicillin won't cure.
Honestly, this is where the rubber meets the road. The first thing I had to admit, somewhat publicly I might add, is that I had sex, I had sex with a carrier of a virus that won't go away. I am imagining the Valtrex commercial and how people seem to be happy living with genital herpes except that won't be me. No, I'm too busy beating myself up for not having the discipline to say no to someone who I had some very obvious questions about in the first place. I knew the risk and took it anyway and it makes me no better than her in the end.
The second thing is possible treatment. Again, I'm imagining the Valtrex commercial and how they say 70% of people with genital herpes get it from their partner when there were no obvious signs and symptoms. However, there is Valtrex. Now I am thinking and have to plan on more doctor visits and more in co-pays on my insurance. Fortunately I have an employer that can help me with this on a Cafeteria Plan and I won't have to pay taxes on that money.
The third thing was bringing this up to the redhead, who surprisingly took it well. She acknowledges that it can be treated with medication and we will be able to deal with it but the guilt I have for exposing the love of my life to this is a little overwhelming. The last thing I want to do is harm another human being through my actions and especially in this way.
So... there I am sitting in the patient room... What next? It's the waiting for the test results in a few days.
You know, kids, there is something to be said for abstinence. It works 100% every time it's tried.
