The Hardest Part of Living With Someone

Dad died in 2009.  If you knew him you'd never forget him.  He had no problem meeting a stranger and no one would stay a stranger for long.  He flirted with the ladies, much to Mom's disdain.  Dad left a positive impression on everyone he met.  He worked hard and played even harder.  Dad once said he wanted to retire to a place where beautiful women were waiting on him hand and foot all the time.  You got to hand it to him, there were some beautiful nurses in the nursing home where he spent the last three years of his life.

Mom died in 2013. She spent much of her time isolated and never went out much as my little brother and I were growing up.  She couldn't drive and hated public transportation.  Her biggest ambition in life was to get a disability check. She hardly had any friends and of those friends, she had she milked those friendships to death and ultimately ran all of her friends off.  Her last three years on this planet were in what she called a hellhole, a nursing home in Lexington, TN, where the staff went out of their way to treat her like a human being instead of another patient waiting to die in those halls.

Comparatively speaking Dad and Mom were like oil and water.  As I grew older I failed to see what he saw in her.  Mom was very, very demanding.  Even though Dad drove for a living he also drove as Mom's personal chauffeur. Mom couldn't do anything on her own and always cited Dad as the reason she couldn't.  Dad, on the other hand, never questioned anything and always faithfully executed his duties without fail, that is until he could not drive anymore.

Dad never complained though.  Mom complained all the time.

Once I was talking with Dad while he was in the nursing home.  He started to look better.  Mom noticed and asked me if I would have a word with him about going home because, of course, she sure did miss having him around.

As I approached Dad with this a stern look of disgust landed on his face as he told me emphatically, 'No! I don't want to go home!'  

'Ok, Pop. I can respect that but can you tell me why?'

'Your momma will drive me crazy!'

So the truth comes out.  Dad not only get his beautiful women but he also managed his escape from his crazy life with Mom.  

Way to go, Dad!

By the way, I still miss you.

Howard Berryman, Sr. 1936-2009