10.) I enjoy cooking but I will never do it for a living again unless I lose my CDL.
My restaurant experiences taught me more about how to enjoy food and it gave me some exposure to culinary delights I would not have had otherwise. However, the stress of the restaurant business tore me a new butthole and burnt me out so fast that if given the choice to run a restaurant or cut off my right leg, just hand me the chainsaw.
9.) There is no way under the sun I will ever feel good enough.
My personality is that of a perfectionist. I try hard to do things right the first time every time even to the point that people expect it of me. While I am slowly (very slowly) learning how to accept things as they are and not trying to be the consummate image improver, it still irks me when I miss a trivia question from time to time or forget a fact or two without having to look it up anyway.
8.) My alone time is not meant to be a personal insult to social butterflies.
I require alone time. It's not a bother to me at all. I would rather be by myself than hang out with anyone. My brain needs a reset and my mental energy needs a renewal. So I drive long distances without talking to anyone. I feel better when I don't have the stimuli around me. Other people's energy screws up my own.
7.) Eight out of the ten biggest regrets in my life involve women.
While I am not my brother who lives out "All My Exes Live In Texas," I can say that I have made some very foolish decisions when it comes to the opposite sex. I don't want to elaborate further. I am ashamed.
6.) The other two biggest regrets involve money.
For someone who is good at math I never tried to conquer the fact money is a relational and emotional thing, too. There were some bad decisions that went down and I regret them. I wish I had listened to the people who tried to warn me. Maybe I wouldn't still be paying off those bad decisions.
5.) I envy my brother, Joe.
He was the baby in the family and was treated as such. Now he has a wonderful family and a "normal" life. He is definitely the most handsome. His boys are awesome and smart. He's settled into his life and it's a nice fit on him. I wish I could say the same. By the way, he's not losing his hair like I am.
4.) I have always been afraid of having children.
This isn't normal jitters. This goes well beyond normal pre-parental anxiety. I think in terms of worst-case scenario when it comes to the subject of kids. So I leave it alone now. I don't have any children and now that I am older I think it's a bad idea. I am over 40 now and raising kids in my 50's and 60's doesn't appeal to me at all. Kudos to those of you who are raising kids.
3.) I love cats.
It has been said that if you want to be worshipped like a god get a dog. However, if you are strong enough to have a god sit on your chest at 5 am and demand a sacrifice, get a cat. Cats are independent creatures that don't require the validation of human instruction. Each one has a unique personality and character. Cats are quite prone to let you know they can live without you. I have three as of the time of writing this and they've added quite a entertaining chapter to my life.
2.) I was a tuba player in school.
This isn't news to those who knew me in school but I have a deep respect for low brass instruments and if I had one I'd play again without hesitation.
1.) I was a math nerd and I am still good at it.
Again, those who knew me in school knew this. What most of my people don't know now is that I can still solve a quadratic equation with the best of them. I probably should have pursued it further instead of dropping out and working but I will bring out my logical brain when someone needs help on a test. I am open to tutoring.
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