Eating Pie

   Some days it's just hard to focus on the hopes, the dreams, and all the good things that keep you motivated to strive for something better in your own life. It's not always easy hearing how professionally dressed people walked out on paying their restaurant tab from my fiance, or the old ladies who can only afford propane one month at a time. This might be hard to hear, but if anyone stops trying then the battle is truly lost.
   While wandering on Facebook I found this quote, "Everybody says that they're trying to get their piece of the pie. They don't realize that the world is a kitchen. They can make their own pie." -Terry Crews. This completely displays original American optimism, that if we ever lose our creative motivation then we will stop making our own pie. I like my pie and I like to eat it too, but it also means I have to get up off my rear and make my own pie everyday.
   We currently live in a world where we are told that 40% of the American population supports 60% of the population. This could also be an indicator of how many people have lost hope, stopped trying, stopped creating, stopped looking, stopped making pie in the own kitchens figuratively speaking. Don't know about you, but I get up when it is dark out and go to bed when it is dark out and work a full day in-between, that is a lot of humble pie. Time to start cooking America, if you don't cook you don't eat.

Go Big or Go Home

 

     There are days when I need to be reminded of who I really am, almost like a self pep talk into feeling a foundation under my feet and washing my spirit with that memorable hope that has been erased by the distractions of life. My job is very demanding, like anyone else I love it because they treat me well, but there are days when I put my head down and launch into a memorized cycle of no return. It is when my heart is stuck in a place of not finding it's happiness, while my head and body are out making money to please my boss. In this instance my heart is not my boss, instead it is a guy I will call Phil, my soul is a comma patient, and brain is on a mission for Fair Trade Propane.

   This is not a rant or rave against Fair Trade Propane or Phil, like I said I appreciate my job because they treat me so well and I show them my gratitude regularly. However, like any other hard working American who works at least ten hours or more a day every day, there is a tendency to forget that once upon a time you had goals and dreams that were not work related. You forget about wanting to have hobbies, you forget about being interested in other subjects that will let you learn about non-job related things, you forget about what you were and who you really are.

   After meeting my red head and starting to have something similar to a social life, her response to so many things was 'go big or go home'. At first it was funny, at the Chinese Buffet I was challenged to get that 5th plate of food, her response to this dilemma was 'go big or go home' so I got the extra plate. Then as we started to talk about business plans, the stock market, marketing strategies, and ideas that would take a lot of long term planning and extra hours at home that my job does not allow for; her response was 'go big or go home'. This was a challenge that I was really starting to take to heart. 

   What was something I felt big about and wasn't all talk and no action. My job would not always be this busy, I would be able to slow down in three more months if I was hopeful and patient. But what things was I willing to call my own again that I was willing to fight for and keep in my life? What things did I feel that I should go big with or leave at home for a future review. I know that I am your friendly neighborhood propane delivery man, but what else am I? I needed to know that my beer gut was not the only big thing in my life that would stick around for a while that was serious part of me, there had to be more to me than a smile and a beer gut. 

   Then the red head explained to me why she always used the slogan that she did, "Well a long time ago it made sense that 'going big' meant showing love to world in ways it did not understand. Or being the bigger person was not a size thing but a 'not make the world a worse place' thing. So when she used her usual expression, she simply meant that by 'going big' you improve the world and don't let hurt you or itself. What she meant by 'or go home', this is when you recharge your batteries to fight another day and the devil can't win. 

   "Those with the biggest hearts always go big because they don't limit their capacity to love....then you get a different version of the energizer bunny," then the red head told me that size of my heart was one of the reasons she knows that she can emotionally connect with me, I am a fixer-upper, but I am her fixer-upper and that we really need to go home because she can't eat any more at the Chinese Buffet. Her pants don't fit any more so it is time to leave. I quickly find myself again and ask for the check....since I know what dessert is.

Working Christmas Eve

   Nobody knows love like eating ham and eggs on your way to work on Christmas Eve. So how do I mean this you ask, well the ham was a gift from my job at Northwest Propane and the eggs were cooked by my fiance so that I could have a quick meal in the morning when she wasn't there so I would not go hungry every morning while running out the door. It was part of her fight to keep me away from the golden tombstones, a.k.a. McDonald's drive-thru.
   I can't say that I could taste the care or love in the food while eating it at Southlake traffic lights, but I could feel the fore thought and consideration that people had for me in making sure I had been taken care of. This is during the time of year that depression, suicide, and an introverted sense of hopelessness takes control of many people who become the polar opposite of the Christmas spirit. This is when all feelings of loss, abandonment, joylessness, and a bottomless hunger that can never be satisfied takes over those who don't want to be saved or have given up the fight to be happy, or are just worn out from trying which they call pretending. They have shut their eyes to the little gifts in life that make daily life worth living everyday of the year, not just around the holidays. They can't see the bowls of eggs and ham for breakfast because their pain has closed their eyes and their hearts.
   This all also goes back to the time when I was in the hospital and I could feel God telling me to be more grateful for what I had which helped to make everyday is an adventure in my world. After this revelation of sorts, I really could appreciate the small things in life and see the blessings others give without anticipating repayment. I truly am grateful for the honey glazed hams from my work (which my fiance will make more food with than I can eat when she comes over), and all the little ways that my red head makes a big impact in my life. I will not reveal any sappy details about her, but I am always telling her that I love her more than she knows....but then she might, her cooking has made me lose weight since it is all real food....the stock market price just dropped for McDonald's.
 

Don't Paint Your Propane Tank Brown

I really don't know if people know anything about propane at all. Some people honestly don't like the fact that they have a big bulky tank in their yard that has to be filled every year with money they claim to not have. They consider driving the truck into their driveway actually becomes an 'intrusion' to their privacy and I become the outsider trespassing on their property long enough to fill their tank, collect payment and leave tracks in their yard. (Side note: I don't like to leave the concrete if I can at all avoid it.) 

I do run into those however who want to paint a tank a color to match the house they live in.  If it's white, aluminum or other heat-reflective color this is not a problem.  But imagine a tank painted brown, dark brown to color coordinate with the walls and trim on your single-wide, 16' X 80' trailer. It can be a very confusing task to try and explain the scientific reasons why I cannot legally fill their tank because it is the wrong color. This is not like the popular TV show What Not To Wear and the poor person keeps mixing plaids with stripes, this is about the fact that darker colors make the tank hotter thus making the liquid propane expand in large quantities so the additional heat can make it explode. Nature is not always kind, and it is a community service to correct this misconception if they want their tank to last a few more years of which are also not cheap.

The most volatile characteristic of liquid propane is how it reacts to temperature.  At 0° F outside temperature liquid propane will not expand much in a tank at all and will have hardly any vapor pressure.  However, at 117° F, which is known to happen in Texas, a fully filled propane tank (at about 80 % of  listed water capacity of the tank)  with a working pressure of 250 psi has a very serious chance of spewing gas through the relief valve like Old Faithful.  Darker colors retain heat, this is why heat-reflective colors are required for the outside surface area of the of a propane storage tank. Even Cliff and Stacy would agree that lighter colors in the summer time would totally lower the sweat factor, and the psi pressure in your tank.

When a tank spews forth like a raging geyser it then becomes a liability and costs hundreds of dollars to fix. Also prompting calls to the fire department and other authorities who will in turn ask the question as to why their propane tank was painted brown. Evacuation of the area might even be mandatory costing people valuable time away from their homes. Once a relief valve pops off, then the tank can no longer be used in the storage of liquid propane until this valve is replaced, costing unnecessary dollars and down time.  We certainly want to help protect our friends and neighbors safe by being able to keep the water heaters and ovens going. Everybody wants hot food and showers, so is it worth the cost to paint your propane tank brown? Vanity cannot afford this cost.